Jennine, Author at I Have Resolve Foundation https://ihaveresolve.com/author/jennine/ Mon, 30 Jun 2025 14:57:46 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.5 https://ihaveresolve.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/cropped-favicon_ios-32x32.png Jennine, Author at I Have Resolve Foundation https://ihaveresolve.com/author/jennine/ 32 32 Inclusion for Autism https://ihaveresolve.com/inclusion-autism/ https://ihaveresolve.com/inclusion-autism/#respond Thu, 22 Aug 2019 00:55:48 +0000 https://dev1.ihaveresolve.com/?p=987 A video for Awareness This is a video my mother and I put together to raise awareness for children with Autism. We hope you enjoy our message and share it!

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A video for Awareness

This is a video my mother and I put together to raise awareness for children with Autism. We hope you enjoy our message and share it!

The post Inclusion for Autism appeared first on I Have Resolve Foundation.

]]> https://ihaveresolve.com/inclusion-autism/feed/ 0 In the Classroom https://ihaveresolve.com/in-the-classroom/ https://ihaveresolve.com/in-the-classroom/#respond Thu, 22 Aug 2019 00:26:01 +0000 https://dev1.ihaveresolve.com/?p=972 Students sit in a special education class Students sit in a special education class in Sanger, Calif. A new study finds that most children with intellectual disabilities over the past several decades spent little to none of their school day in general education classrooms. (Francine Orr/Los Angeles Times/TNS) Under federal law, students with disabilities are…

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Students sit in a special education class

Students sit in a special education class in Sanger, Calif. A new study finds that most children with intellectual disabilities over the past several decades spent little to none of their school day in general education classrooms. (Francine Orr/Los Angeles Times/TNS)

Under federal law, students with disabilities are supposed to attend class with their typically-developing peers as much as possible, but new research suggests that may not be happening.

In what researchers say is the first study to look at national trends in school placement for students with intellectual disabilities over the last four decades, they found that the majority of these children spent most or all of their time in self-contained settings.

What’s more, while inclusion rates rose during some periods in the nearly-40-year span, progress seems to have halted in recent years, according to findings that are set to be published in the American Journal on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities.

Under the law now known as the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, students should be placed in the “least restrictive environment.”
“Given the legal mandate, it is surprising that such a large proportion of students are consistently placed in restrictive settings,” said Matthew Brock, an assistant professor of special education at The Ohio State University who worked on the study.

Researchers relied on several data sources to examine placement trends for students with intellectual disabilities ages 6 to 21 across the country between 1976 and 2014. Over the decades, they found that between 55 and 73 percent of students in this population spent most or all of their day in segregated placements.

Starting in 1990, researchers found that an increasing proportion of students were educated in less restrictive settings, but that progress plateaued in recent years.

By 2010, the number of students with intellectual disabilities spending at least 80 percent of their school day in general education classes peaked at 18 percent. But that figure slid to 17 percent by 2014, the study found.

Brock noted that variations in student placements across states suggest that opportunities remain for greater inclusion.

“I don’t want to send the message that all kids with intellectual disabilities should spend 100 percent of their time in general education classrooms,” he said. “But I think we need to find opportunities for all kids to spend some time with peers who don’t have disabilities if we are going to follow the spirit and letter of the law.”

by Shaun Heasley | May 15, 2018

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]]> https://ihaveresolve.com/in-the-classroom/feed/ 0 My Heart is Full https://ihaveresolve.com/my-heart-is-full/ https://ihaveresolve.com/my-heart-is-full/#respond Sat, 21 Jul 2018 00:15:00 +0000 https://dev1.ihaveresolve.com/?p=960 5 Year Anniversary Today, as a family, on the 5 year anniversary of losing Jason we are taking a few moments to remember Jason. We do this everyday, privately and amongst ourselves but today it feels important to share who he was, to share our pride and joy – Jason. It is time to celebrate…

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5 Year Anniversary

Today, as a family, on the 5 year anniversary of losing Jason we are taking a few moments to remember Jason. We do this everyday, privately and amongst ourselves but today it feels important to share who he was, to share our pride and joy – Jason. It is time to celebrate his life and share the joy of Jason.

Some family and friends remember Jason for his wit and intelligence, some for his friendship and caring way, some for his extreme love of fancy food, and others for his ability to jokingly diss you and turn your own words back at you in a hilarious way; we all remember Jason for his love.

Jason’s love was shown to all of us in a variety of ways. His position of not being able to walk and eventually become unable to even lift his arms gave him a perspective that sometimes made us all stop and reflect on what we were focusing on as important. Jason never made anyone feel badly for their worries, he simply put them in perspective. Interestingly enough, he didn’t do it by talking about himself and his struggle. As a family we did not hear him discuss his inabilities. In his 20 years I heard him ask “why me” only one time. Pretty impressive I’d say.

In the moment, while we were living through Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, this fact about Jason didn’t hit me as remarkable. Today, as I reflect I see Jason’s quiet patience and acceptance of what he was given in life as truly inspirational. Jason can best be described as an old soul. His logic was absolute, he wasn’t always right but he cut through to the heart of a matter with a clear vision. Usually we stood back in awe and said “ya, what he said”. I wonder now how he knew so much in his young years.

Jason and I had a special relationship. I feel that supporting someone with special needs creates a unique and wonderful bond but I also believe that it was because we spent 7 years alone together before we met John. In Jason’s later years and as time went on Jason became more determined and strong minded. He worried for others before himself. I recall him asking me why Jordan was standing up on a swing. He was protective of those he loved and did not want hurt to enter into our lives. Jason loved his brother Jordan, he spent time teaching him to read and play video games. Jordan has so many strong memories because of that intense time. We believe now that Jason knew that his time was precious.

Jason’s way of looking after others was most prevalent when it came to me. He worried about my worry. I worried about him constantly. As his Muscular Dystrophy started to progress Jason was most comfortable at home. Forcing his body to go anywhere was a challenge. We accepted this as the reality he faced and let him lead the way. In saying this though, he always made sure that I knew that he was okay. A strong memory for me is Jason coming over to chat while I was doing laundry. His exact words were “Mom, I don’t want you to worry, no matter what happens, I have resolve”. The words hit me as powerful but didn’t sink in until much later. I felt pride but we kept going about our usual routine.

A few years later Jason was clearly losing most physical function. We needed him to have support at home. John and Jason as a team decided to start a business. The business was Resolve Apparel. Resolve Apparel modified clothing for people with disabilities. Jason’s job was to attend shows, hospitals, etc to demonstrate their effectiveness. A blanket was modified to wrap securely around a wheelchair, a nightgown or shirt was modified in order for stretching and bending to be reduced. They made a great pair. John loved Jason like a son and Jason 100% felt the same.

I never thought that Jason had a clear picture of how his disease would progress. I made a decision to protect him from the whole truth. Little did I know that later I would find out, at his funeral to be exact that Jason had asked other family members to take care of his mom. He left clear instructions, he knew that I would hurt deeply and he wanted support for me when he couldn’t be there. Today, I wonder who was protecting who. Jason clearly was looking out to protect me from pain.

Three weeks before we lost Jason we went to a specialist appointment. We were seeing a cardiologist and then seeing his neuromuscular specialist. The cardiologist was not happy with the speed of Jason’s heartbeat, he said that it was too fast. He instructed us to take the results to our next appointment. The neuromuscular specialist told us that yes his heartbeat was elevated but that he didn’t see any reason to be overly alarmed. I worried, from that moment on I was concerned, it just didn’t feel right. Jason made a joke every day about my worry, he was trying to get me to stop. I followed up with the hospital a few times but did not get a different answer.

I always tucked Jason in at night. Every night for years and years Jason would say “love you mom”. He often yelled it out at me out of the blue when he went to bed early and worked on his computer. In the last week of Jason’s life he twice did something differently as I tucked him in. He made me stop and focus on him, he said “mom I’m fine, you need to know that I’m okay”. I asked him if he was sure, he said yes. Within a few days of each other he told me very seriously that he was okay. I accepted his message and let go of my worry.

Then the worst happened, we lost Jason because of his heart failing. I thought for so long, “see you were not fine”. Today I think differently. I think that Jason knew that he physically wasn’t fine, I think that he knew that the disease of Duchenne would take him. I believe that in having this knowledge that he wanted me to know that he was fine and that through me he was telling everyone else.

With this in mind our focus became on what Jason missed throughout his life with DMD. We knew that he missed out socially. His resolve became our focus. I HAVE RESOLVE is our message because of him. We hope to promote inclusion and friendship for anyone with a health, cognitive or physical challenge. Jason taught us the true meaning of love. Hopefully his message can help others in life. His life has a meaning that we will never forget.

Loss and grief are gut wrenching. Loss of a child is painful beyond any words I could write. Love on the other hand is what becomes clear once the fog lifts slightly. Our love, the love and gift of Jason will forever keep my heart full. We all face pain and loss in life. John, Jordan and I have decided to focus on the gift of Jason. His gift is what carries us forward. We are grateful for the love, so even with pain MY HEART IS FULL.

Jennine
aka Jason’s mom

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]]> https://ihaveresolve.com/my-heart-is-full/feed/ 0 Kind and Inclusive https://ihaveresolve.com/kind-inclusive/ https://ihaveresolve.com/kind-inclusive/#respond Fri, 27 Oct 2017 22:25:37 +0000 https://dev1.ihaveresolve.com/?p=929 Here’s How to Help Your Kids Be Kind and Inclusive People When I was 13, I came home from a sleepover at a friend’s house (let’s call her Sleepover Friend). The phone rang when I walked in the door and it was another friend calling (we’ll call her Phone Friend). I quickly found out that…

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Here’s How to Help Your Kids Be Kind and Inclusive People

When I was 13, I came home from a sleepover at a friend’s house (let’s call her Sleepover Friend). The phone rang when I walked in the door and it was another friend calling (we’ll call her Phone Friend).

I quickly found out that Sleepover Friend, with whom I’d just had a great time, was now out. No longer in the group. Had inexplicably become a social leper. Phone Friend was calling to say that Sleepover Friend was suddenly annoying or stuck up or dorky or some other sort of 13-year-old crime. Just like that. Because sometimes that’s how the social cookie crumbles when you’re 13. It certainly had for me before.

So, what did I do? Let’s just say my character wouldn’t be the 80’s movie hero sticking up for the underdog. I decided to avoid the risk of joining Sleepover Friend in no man’s land and – though I’m ashamed to admit it – I joined in the criticism with gusto. I was sitting under our kitchen table “for privacy” when suddenly, out of nowhere, my mom grabbed my legs, pulled me out from under the table, grabbed the phone and hung up on Phone Friend.

Panic.

Looking into my mother’s eyes, I saw a reflection of myself that I did not like. I was called out, this was not how things worked in my family. My dear mother let me know in no uncertain terms that this mean girl behavior was not allowed in our home and was a high ranking punishable crime.

My mom helped me realize the small voice inside me – the one I’d been ignoring – was the one I actually needed to hear. She not only made me think about what I’d done, but about who exactly the kind of person I wanted to be. She was tough on me, and being face to face with my mom after breaking this rule was absolutely a defining moment.

Until my mom sat me down I was afraid to do anything other than what I needed to do to stay in the group. We all know that the role of social outcast quite simply sucks. Who hasn’t been on the outside of a group of whispering girls who suddenly stop talking as soon as you approach? Who hasn’t walked up to a middle school lunch table and found there was “no more room.” Who hasn’t overheard stories of the sleepover all your friends attended, realizing with a sick feeling in your gut that you hadn’t been invited? I didn’t want the pain of being out of the group, so while I was a “good girl” and a “nice kid,” I opted to be mean in order to protect my own behind.

That moment with my mom wasn’t just a life lesson about fitting in. It was the beginning of what I’m committed to teaching both as a parent and a teacher: we need to be inlcuders. No one is left out in any big or small way. Our in-ness cannot come at the expense of someone else’s out-ness. We’re all here, arent’ we? We all fit in.

Welcome to the human family – population: everyone.

As parents, we need to be less concerned with asking if our child is included and ask more questions about whom they include. The message from us, and more importantly what we model, must be that there’s always room for one more. Each and every person has worth, has value.

We all believe that our own children are special, we all love our children deeply, adore them infinitely. And we should. We all think our kids are the most amazing. And they are – to us, their parents, the people who cherish them most in the world. But our children must also know that as singular as they are within our hearts, out in the world, they’re no better than anyone else, no more or less special than all the other humans.

Their feelings of worth must come from being part of the good in the world, not from being in when someone else is out. We need to teach our kids that doing what’s right is often also unpopular. And we have to acknowledge for them that doing the right thing will sometimes be so very hard. But teaching them to see and stand up for the value of their fellow humans, even if it comes at the price of their own belonging, is a hard thing worth doing.

As kids get older they claim to long for privacy and a hands-off approach, just as they did when they wanted to pick out their own clothes when they were two. But we do not owe it to our kids to check out. Sure, they send a strong “go away” message sometimes? And just as I don’t give in to the multitude of other wants, I’m not giving up on the big stuff. I’ll pick my battles, of course. Doritos for breakfast? Maybe. Messy room? Ok fine, now and then. I can be persuaded. But turn a blind eye when one good friend is no longer included in the sleepovers? Not a chance.

We need to look for that moment when it’s time to grab our kids by the legs and drag ’em out from under the table. Knowing when to step in and keeping abreast of what’s going on requires an effort from parents. I offer some suggestions of questions you might ask your kids to keep your finger on the pulse:

1 | Who are the “mean kids” and why do you think they act the way they do?

Pro-tip: the answer can’t just be that they’re a terrible person. As a teacher, I’ve met a lot of kids and I’ve never met one that was simply a terrible person. People who are mean are hurt, lonely, scared, misunderstood or misdirected.

2 | I’ve heard you say so-and-so is a tough person to be around.

Why? What can you find that’s good about them?

3 | What would happen if you just said yes instead of ignoring the request?

I know you’re not friends with that person, but maybe they asked to be your Snapchat follower or to sit with you at lunch because you seem kind.

4 | Who might see that on Instagram and feel left out?

Did you need to post it?

5 | Tell me about how your lunch table works?

Can anyone sit with you and your friends? Do you have someone to sit with every day? Do you ever see kids with no one to sit with?

6 | Who needs a ride?

We’re happy to drive as many kids that need a ride and if there are too many I’ll find another mom to help me. (Kids seriously sometimes get left out just because there are no more seats in the car.)

My talk with my mom changed my thinking, it allowed me to see myself and the situation differently. It changed my heart. And with practice, I might have even had a few 80’s movie style moments…doing the right thing and hearing that slow clap in the background (if only in my mind).

Talk to your kids. If they’re feeling left out, do whatever you can to help them connect. If they’re the mean kid, do whatever you can to help them change that. You’ll make mistakes, but you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to pay attention and speak up.

Let’s teach our kids how to value one another. Let’s teach our kids that there’s room for every single one of us at the table – even in the middle school cafeteria.

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Kind and Inclusive

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Here’s How to Help Your Kids Be Kind and Inclusive People

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When I was 13, I came home from a sleepover at a friend’s house (let’s call her Sleepover Friend). The phone rang when I walked in the door and it was another friend calling (we’ll call her Phone Friend).

I quickly found out that Sleepover Friend, with whom I’d just had a great time, was now out. No longer in the group. Had inexplicably become a social leper. Phone Friend was calling to say that Sleepover Friend was suddenly annoying or stuck up or dorky or some other sort of 13-year-old crime. Just like that. Because sometimes that’s how the social cookie crumbles when you’re 13. It certainly had for me before.

So, what did I do? Let’s just say my character wouldn’t be the 80’s movie hero sticking up for the underdog. I decided to avoid the risk of joining Sleepover Friend in no man’s land and – though I’m ashamed to admit it – I joined in the criticism with gusto. I was sitting under our kitchen table “for privacy” when suddenly, out of nowhere, my mom grabbed my legs, pulled me out from under the table, grabbed the phone and hung up on Phone Friend.

Panic.

Looking into my mother’s eyes, I saw a reflection of myself that I did not like. I was called out, this was not how things worked in my family. My dear mother let me know in no uncertain terms that this mean girl behavior was not allowed in our home and was a high ranking punishable crime.

My mom helped me realize the small voice inside me – the one I’d been ignoring – was the one I actually needed to hear. She not only made me think about what I’d done, but about who exactly the kind of person I wanted to be. She was tough on me, and being face to face with my mom after breaking this rule was absolutely a defining moment.

Until my mom sat me down I was afraid to do anything other than what I needed to do to stay in the group. We all know that the role of social outcast quite simply sucks. Who hasn’t been on the outside of a group of whispering girls who suddenly stop talking as soon as you approach? Who hasn’t walked up to a middle school lunch table and found there was “no more room.” Who hasn’t overheard stories of the sleepover all your friends attended, realizing with a sick feeling in your gut that you hadn’t been invited? I didn’t want the pain of being out of the group, so while I was a “good girl” and a “nice kid,” I opted to be mean in order to protect my own behind.

That moment with my mom wasn’t just a life lesson about fitting in. It was the beginning of what I’m committed to teaching both as a parent and a teacher: we need to be inlcuders. No one is left out in any big or small way. Our in-ness cannot come at the expense of someone else’s out-ness. We’re all here, arent’ we? We all fit in.

Welcome to the human family – population: everyone.

As parents, we need to be less concerned with asking if our child is included and ask more questions about whom they include. The message from us, and more importantly what we model, must be that there’s always room for one more. Each and every person has worth, has value.

We all believe that our own children are special, we all love our children deeply, adore them infinitely. And we should. We all think our kids are the most amazing. And they are – to us, their parents, the people who cherish them most in the world. But our children must also know that as singular as they are within our hearts, out in the world, they’re no better than anyone else, no more or less special than all the other humans.

Their feelings of worth must come from being part of the good in the world, not from being in when someone else is out. We need to teach our kids that doing what’s right is often also unpopular. And we have to acknowledge for them that doing the right thing will sometimes be so very hard. But teaching them to see and stand up for the value of their fellow humans, even if it comes at the price of their own belonging, is a hard thing worth doing.

As kids get older they claim to long for privacy and a hands-off approach, just as they did when they wanted to pick out their own clothes when they were two. But we do not owe it to our kids to check out. Sure, they send a strong “go away” message sometimes? And just as I don’t give in to the multitude of other wants, I’m not giving up on the big stuff. I’ll pick my battles, of course. Doritos for breakfast? Maybe. Messy room? Ok fine, now and then. I can be persuaded. But turn a blind eye when one good friend is no longer included in the sleepovers? Not a chance.

We need to look for that moment when it’s time to grab our kids by the legs and drag ’em out from under the table. Knowing when to step in and keeping abreast of what’s going on requires an effort from parents. I offer some suggestions of questions you might ask your kids to keep your finger on the pulse:

1 | Who are the “mean kids” and why do you think they act the way they do?

Pro-tip: the answer can’t just be that they’re a terrible person. As a teacher, I’ve met a lot of kids and I’ve never met one that was simply a terrible person. People who are mean are hurt, lonely, scared, misunderstood or misdirected.

2 | I’ve heard you say so-and-so is a tough person to be around.

Why? What can you find that’s good about them?

3 | What would happen if you just said yes instead of ignoring the request?

I know you’re not friends with that person, but maybe they asked to be your Snapchat follower or to sit with you at lunch because you seem kind.

4 | Who might see that on Instagram and feel left out?

Did you need to post it?

5 | Tell me about how your lunch table works?

Can anyone sit with you and your friends? Do you have someone to sit with every day? Do you ever see kids with no one to sit with?

6 | Who needs a ride?

We’re happy to drive as many kids that need a ride and if there are too many I’ll find another mom to help me. (Kids seriously sometimes get left out just because there are no more seats in the car.)

My talk with my mom changed my thinking, it allowed me to see myself and the situation differently. It changed my heart. And with practice, I might have even had a few 80’s movie style moments…doing the right thing and hearing that slow clap in the background (if only in my mind).

Talk to your kids. If they’re feeling left out, do whatever you can to help them connect. If they’re the mean kid, do whatever you can to help them change that. You’ll make mistakes, but you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to pay attention and speak up.

Let’s teach our kids how to value one another. Let’s teach our kids that there’s room for every single one of us at the table – even in the middle school cafeteria.

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]]> https://ihaveresolve.com/kind-inclusive/feed/ 0 Gender Inclusivity https://ihaveresolve.com/gender-inclusivity/ https://ihaveresolve.com/gender-inclusivity/#respond Mon, 25 Sep 2017 00:30:52 +0000 https://dev1.ihaveresolve.com/?p=974 On inclusivity in Sport Much of sport is organized by sex or gender; however, not every athlete fits into or identifies with the binary of male and female. As an advocate for sport that is fair, safe and open, the CCES has developed resources for the Canadian sport community to provide information and guidance for…

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On inclusivity in Sport

Much of sport is organized by sex or gender; however, not every athlete fits into or identifies with the binary of male and female.

As an advocate for sport that is fair, safe and open, the CCES has developed resources for the Canadian sport community to provide information and guidance for the inclusion of trans athletes, and to make Canadian sport a positive space for all athletes.

In 2012, the CCES released a report entitled, “Sport in Transition: Making Sport in Canada More Responsible for Gender Inclusivity.” The report concludes that, because variations in sex development exist, individuals should have the right to compete without question in the gender they feel they are or have always identified with, and emphasizes that this right to gender self-identification carries both the privilege of inclusion and the responsibility for fair play.

In 2016, the CCES released a policy guidance document designed to help sport organizations develop their own trans inclusion policies. “Creating Inclusive Environments for Trans Participants in Canadian Sport – Guidance for Sport Organizations” provides policy guidance and best practices for sport at recreational and developmental and high-performance levels. Thank you to the members of the Expert Working Group (full list below).

Trans Inclusion Expert Working Group:

  • Jeremy Ainsworth – Associate Director, Operations, BC Hockey
  • Barb Besharat – Senior Specialist, Sport and Recreation – Strategic Partnership Initiatives, 519 Church Street Community Centre
  • Ryan Dyck – Director of Research, Policy and Development, Egale Canada Human Rights Trust
  • Dr. Stephen H. Feder – Head, Adolescent Health Clinic, Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario
  • Dr. Hilary Findlay – Associate Professor, Department of Sport Management, Brock University, co-founder of Sport Law & Strategy Group
  • Dr. Bruce Kidd – Professor, Faculty of Kinesiology and Physical Education, University of Toronto
  • Karin Lofstrom – Executive Director, Canadian Association for the Advancement of Women and Sport and Physical Activity
  • Yvonne McKinnon – Research and Policy Analyst, Sport Canada (replaced Tim O’Malley, Senior Policy Analyst, Sport Canada)
  • Paul Melia – CEO, Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sport
  • Bjorn Osieck – former CEO, West Ottawa Soccer Club
  • Danika Smith – Student-Athlete Services, Compliance Officer and Coach, University of Ottawa
  • Sylvie Turner – Safety Consultant, Direction de la promotion de la sécurité, Secteur du Loisir et du Sport, Ministère de l’Éducation et de l’Enseignement supérieur
  • Alaina Hardie – Athlete
  • Dr. Kris Wells – Faculty Director, Institute for Sexual Minority Studies and Services, University of Alberta, and You Can Play Ambassador

This except is taken directly from the Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sport website.

For more information please visit http://cces.ca

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]]> https://ihaveresolve.com/gender-inclusivity/feed/ 0 A Beautiful Tribute https://ihaveresolve.com/tribute-jason/ https://ihaveresolve.com/tribute-jason/#respond Sun, 09 Jul 2017 00:19:10 +0000 https://dev1.ihaveresolve.com/?p=963 4 Year Anniversary A beautiful tribute in honor of Jason on the 4th anniversary of his passing Thank you Jackie VIDEO TRIBUTE

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4 Year Anniversary

A beautiful tribute in honor of Jason on the 4th anniversary of his passing

Thank you Jackie

VIDEO TRIBUTE

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]]> https://ihaveresolve.com/tribute-jason/feed/ 0 T-ball Inclusion Lesson https://ihaveresolve.com/t-ball-lesson/ https://ihaveresolve.com/t-ball-lesson/#respond Sat, 08 Jul 2017 00:36:28 +0000 https://dev1.ihaveresolve.com/?p=976 How my Twins T-Ball team learned about inclusion Like many 4-year-olds, my twin boys, Hunter and Troy, love baseball! But when it came time to sign them up for t-ball, I couldn’t help but be anxious. Typically, parents wouldn’t bat an eye at signing their twin boys up for the same t-ball team, but our…

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How my Twins T-Ball team learned about inclusion

Like many 4-year-olds, my twin boys, Hunter and Troy, love baseball! But when it came time to sign them up for t-ball, I couldn’t help but be anxious.

Inclusion Evolution.

Typically, parents wouldn’t bat an eye at signing their twin boys up for the same t-ball team, but our situation is not so typical. Troy has Down syndrome, and I wasn’t sure how he would be received. Should I call and tell the coach that one of my boys has a cognitive disability? During the first practice, should I describe Troy’s low tone and how it may impact his ability to keep up? During the games, should I apologize for my son’s performance?

In the end, I didn’t say anything.

MIGHTY PARTNER
We play backyard baseball all the time. Troy is as good, if not better, than his typical twin brother at hitting, throwing, and catching the ball, which is to say they both suck as much as any 4-year-old who has never played. I hoped his team would accept him as any other first-time player.
We showed up to the first practice, and I could tell Troy was really nervous. Even though he’s as good as any other kid his age, he hates crowds. I hear about other kids with Down syndrome loving the spotlight. Troy is the opposite. If you laugh or cheer at his successes, he shuts down. I’m not sure if he thinks people are laughing at him, or if it’s too much sensory overload.

His seemingly lack of interest in the game was predictable, but still bummed me out. I wanted his team to see the enthusiastic ball player I watch in our backyard. I did mention to his coach that Troy has Down syndrome, and he may or may not decide to play. “That’s OK, right?” I asked with bated breath.

Coach Kyle, a laid-back father of two, said “This is my first time coaching. I think we’re all nervous. Let’s give him some time to get used to his team and the game.”

This is inclusion at its finest, and Coach Kyle seemed to come by it naturally. There was no hesitation to include Troy. Just an open-mind, and support if needed.

I wish I could say the team’s acceptance of Troy made his apprehension to play go away. It didn’t. He practiced with the team, he even played the field a few innings each game, but when it came time to hit the ball stage fright took over.

It took five games for Troy to finally hit the ball. But when he did, you could see the pride and pure happiness in his face! You could see the excitement in his teammates’ and their parents’ faces! They were genuinely excited to have Troy as part of the team, and more importantly see him succeed.

Troy at the base.

One particular player, 5-year-old Michael, always made a point to talk to Troy during the games he didn’t play. When Troy played his first full game, you could see the impact it had on Michael. He was so proud of his friend.

Although most of the kids on Troy’s team are too young to understand Troy’s difference, there’s still an important lesson to be learned by his presence. I know these sports encounters will become less as Troy gets older. We expect that Troy will play on typical sports teams, as well as in the Special Olympics. But these early encounters can change perceptions of individuals with Down syndrome, and open doors for Troy later. His teammates will one day be employers, teachers, or friends who will remember that Troy is more alike than different.

Follow Troy’s journey of inclusion at www.inclusionevolution.com.

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]]> https://ihaveresolve.com/t-ball-lesson/feed/ 0 Daniels Story https://ihaveresolve.com/daniels-story/ https://ihaveresolve.com/daniels-story/#respond Fri, 03 Feb 2017 00:46:09 +0000 https://dev1.ihaveresolve.com/?p=981 Living with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy My name is Daniel Harry. I am 23 years old and have Duchenne muscular dystrophy. I have often found in my life that others have considered people with DMD, who achieve things in life, to be inspirational. I would like to challenge this belief and put a different perspective upon…

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Living with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy

My name is Daniel Harry. I am 23 years old and have Duchenne muscular dystrophy. I have often found in my life that others have considered people with DMD, who achieve things in life, to be inspirational. I would like to challenge this belief and put a different perspective upon it. A few years back I was a representative for Queensland at the NEWS and we had a guest speaker opening the games who made a comment that all the athletes there were inspirational and special people. But I thought to myself, ‘no this is not the case, we are not special, all we are is human beings getting together to play sport like anyone else.’

People may think I am inspirational but there are other people in this world who have prevailed over a lot tougher situations than I will ever have to deal with in my life. I feel this attitude has helped me a great deal throughout my life.

As you all ready know, muscular dystrophy is a terrible disease and can have a major negative impact on people’s lives. However the Dalai Lama has some very useful advice. He says:

Looking at problems from different angles actually lessens the mental burden. Every event has many aspects and naturally one event can be viewed from many many different angles. It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. Therefore, it is useful when something happens to try and look at it from different angles and then you can see the positive or beneficial aspects. Moreover, if something happens, it is very useful immediately to make a comparison with some other event or with the events of other people or other nations. This is also very helpful in sustaining your peace of mind.
The first two major positives in my life are that I have been born into a family with two fantastic parents and I was born in Australia. These two positives have given me a major stepping stone in achieving what I have achieved. If you are going to be born with a disability, Australia is the best country to live in. We have a system here which you are able to speak up and fight for what you believe in.

Major achievements in my life include:

Traveled to Sydney, Melbourne, Canberra, Perth and Adelaide representing Queensland at NEWS from 1989-2001.
Chosen to represent Australia in 1992
Finished High School
Done an administration traineeship while working for two years
Currently attending University
Attended TAFE for 1.5 years
Went camping for a week at Moreton Island
Been to New Zealand
Went to the Australian Open (Tennis Tournament)
Been to Rockhampton on Tilt Train
Go on holidays every year
Play wheelchair sport twice a month
Was on committee for MACS
I believe it is important for parents to treat their children with DMD like they would anyone else. I have witnessed parents who have harmed the character and growth of their children by being overprotective of them and sheltering them from the realities of life. Doing this is not beneficial to the child, because the child needs to be treated like an average person.

Another thing that I believe is that dying should be something a young person with DMD must be made aware of and be encouraged to talk about positively and maturely. People often ignore the idea of dying because they are scared of it themselves. Dying is not something that should be considered bad, it is as natural as being born.

I may have missed out on some opportunities because of my disability but I can assure you that I have lived, and am living, a fantastic life. If people with DMD are given the proper support from their family and the government there is no reason why they cannot contribute to society and live a fulfilling life.

I would like to end this story with some more useful advice:

As a great Indian scholar said: ‘If there is a way to overcome the suffering, then there is no need to worry; if there is no way to overcome the suffering, then there is no use in worrying.’ That kind of rational attitude is quite useful.

-Daniel Harry, 2002
Brisbane, Australia

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]]> https://ihaveresolve.com/daniels-story/feed/ 0 Limitless https://ihaveresolve.com/limitless/ https://ihaveresolve.com/limitless/#respond Fri, 03 Feb 2017 00:40:11 +0000 https://dev1.ihaveresolve.com/?p=979 7 Stories of people who refused to be limited Is it just me, or are there more and more global news stories about disabled people accomplishing feats that would be quite newsworthy for able-bodied people? I believe it is happening more and more, as modern attitudes about those who’ve had physical setbacks change to reflect…

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7 Stories of people who refused to be limited

Is it just me, or are there more and more global news stories about disabled people accomplishing feats that would be quite newsworthy for able-bodied people? I believe it is happening more and more, as modern attitudes about those who’ve had physical setbacks change to reflect reality. People termed “disabled” have always had the will to accomplish what others thought impossible, but now the people around them are seeing the possibilities more and more. And we can’t discount the effects of instant news coverage, which both inspires others and brings us stories we would not otherwise know.

1. HECTOR PICARD
Twenty years ago, Hector Picard was working as an electrician when a transformer sent 13,000 volts through his body. His many injuries included arm damage so bad that both were amputated. After a long recovery, Picard embraced athletics and has competed in more than 50 triathlons in the past few years. Right now he is traveling by bike from Ft. Lauderdale to New York City -a journey of 1500 miles! Along the way, he is speaking and raising funds for the the I Will Foundation. You can follow his progress online.

2. ANNIE CLARK
Every year, the Zaner-Bloser language arts and reading materials company gives awards to students for great penmanship. This year, they were inspired to add a new category of awards for disabled students, and one of the two winners was Annie Clark, a 7-year-old born with no hands. Annie writes by holding an instrument between her two arms, the same method she uses to dress herself and paint her toenails.

“Annie has always been very, very determined, very self-sufficient in dressing herself and feeding herself,” Mr. Clark said. “She can ride a bike. She swims. She is just determined that there’s nothing she can’t do.”

Her father said she also types on a keyboard and uses an iPod Touch with no difficulties.

The Clark family has nine children, seven with disabilities, six who were adopted, four of them from China, which is where Annie was born.

3. KAISA LEKA
Kaisa Leka is a Finnish comic book artist, graphic designer, and politician. Leka’s deformed legs were amputated ten years ago, and as a young adult, she had to learn to walk all over again with prosthetic legs. However, she did not stop there. Leka took up cycling with her husband, and they take long bike tours together around the world. Just last month, Leka was named Finland’s Cyclist of the Year.

4. CLAIRE LOMAS
Claire Lomas completed the London Marathon last month with the aid of a bionic suit, even though she is paralyzed from the chest down. The 32-year-old Lomas broke her neck and back in a horse riding accident in 2007. She walked two miles of the course a day, and completed the 26-mile race in 16 days. Although Lomas will not be recorded as an official runner (the rules state finishers must cross the line the same day of the race), she received a special recognition from Virgin founder Richard Branson. The £43,000 ($75,000) walking apparatus, called the ReWalk bionic walking device, responds to changes in balance, and takes a step when the wearer indicates the desire for one. Lomas’ race raised £80,000 for the organization Spinal Research.

5. DIANE VAN DEREN
Diane Van Deren was always an athlete, participating in every sport her school offered, which led to a few years as a professional tennis player. Afterward she switched to running marathons. Van Deren suffered from epilepsy, undergoing grand mal seizures for years. Then in 1997, she made the decision to undergo brain surgery to relieve the symptoms. There was a risk of brain damage, but Van Deren weighed that risk against the risk of further brain damage or dying during one of her violent seizures, which had worsened over the years. Surgeons removed a damaged portion of her brain, and the seizures stopped. But there was some damage to her brain from the procedure. Van Deren lost her sense of direction, and her sense of time passing. There is also some memory loss, and a tendency toward sensory overload. In 2002, she began running ultra-marathons, races of 50 miles or more. Van Deren excelled in the longer races, which may be a result of her surgery. She is not aware of the length of time she is running, and may be less aware of pain than she would be otherwise. Now 52 years old, Van Deren finished the 1,000-mile Mountain to Sea Trail in North Carolina on Saturday, June 2, 2012. Her 22-day run set a record for the course, which had never been accomplished in less than 24 days before. Van Deren says she is now through with 1,000-mile races, but will continue in 50- and 100-mile events.

6. CORNEL HRISCA-MUNN
Cornel Hrisca-Munn was born with a deformed leg and no forearms in Romania in 1991. Placed in one of that country’s famously poor orphanages of the time, he was not expected to survive, and wasn’t even issued a birth certificate. But Hrisca-Munn survived, and was taken to England at the age of seven months for proper medical care. By the time he approached his teen years, he wanted to learn a musical instrument, and figured the drums were the only instruments he could manage. Hrisca-Munn placed second in a national drumming competition when he was only 14 years old! Earlier this year, YouTube videos of his playing made him a viral star. And he is learning to play bass guitar as well. Hrisca-Munn is now a student at Keble College, Oxford, England, studying philosophy and theology.

7. CHEN ZHOU
Chen Zhou of Shandong Province, China, was 12 years old when he lost his legs due to a train accident. He began to make a living at age 16 as a street singer, and he recently toured the country singing to pay for a house he bought for his family (he has a wife and two children). Chen is also a mountain climber. He recently completed his 12th ascent up Mount Taishan, which has stairs to the top -6300 of them! Chen walks on his hands, and sees Mount Taishan as both a personal challenge and an opportunity for publicity. Others see his stunt as an inspiration.

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Limitless

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7 Stories of people who refused to be limited

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Is it just me, or are there more and more global news stories about disabled people accomplishing feats that would be quite newsworthy for able-bodied people? I believe it is happening more and more, as modern attitudes about those who’ve had physical setbacks change to reflect reality. People termed “disabled” have always had the will to accomplish what others thought impossible, but now the people around them are seeing the possibilities more and more. And we can’t discount the effects of instant news coverage, which both inspires others and brings us stories we would not otherwise know.

1. HECTOR PICARD
Twenty years ago, Hector Picard was working as an electrician when a transformer sent 13,000 volts through his body. His many injuries included arm damage so bad that both were amputated. After a long recovery, Picard embraced athletics and has competed in more than 50 triathlons in the past few years. Right now he is traveling by bike from Ft. Lauderdale to New York City -a journey of 1500 miles! Along the way, he is speaking and raising funds for the the I Will Foundation. You can follow his progress online.

2. ANNIE CLARK
Every year, the Zaner-Bloser language arts and reading materials company gives awards to students for great penmanship. This year, they were inspired to add a new category of awards for disabled students, and one of the two winners was Annie Clark, a 7-year-old born with no hands. Annie writes by holding an instrument between her two arms, the same method she uses to dress herself and paint her toenails.

“Annie has always been very, very determined, very self-sufficient in dressing herself and feeding herself,” Mr. Clark said. “She can ride a bike. She swims. She is just determined that there’s nothing she can’t do.”

Her father said she also types on a keyboard and uses an iPod Touch with no difficulties.

The Clark family has nine children, seven with disabilities, six who were adopted, four of them from China, which is where Annie was born.

3. KAISA LEKA
Kaisa Leka is a Finnish comic book artist, graphic designer, and politician. Leka’s deformed legs were amputated ten years ago, and as a young adult, she had to learn to walk all over again with prosthetic legs. However, she did not stop there. Leka took up cycling with her husband, and they take long bike tours together around the world. Just last month, Leka was named Finland’s Cyclist of the Year.

4. CLAIRE LOMAS
Claire Lomas completed the London Marathon last month with the aid of a bionic suit, even though she is paralyzed from the chest down. The 32-year-old Lomas broke her neck and back in a horse riding accident in 2007. She walked two miles of the course a day, and completed the 26-mile race in 16 days. Although Lomas will not be recorded as an official runner (the rules state finishers must cross the line the same day of the race), she received a special recognition from Virgin founder Richard Branson. The £43,000 ($75,000) walking apparatus, called the ReWalk bionic walking device, responds to changes in balance, and takes a step when the wearer indicates the desire for one. Lomas’ race raised £80,000 for the organization Spinal Research.

5. DIANE VAN DEREN
Diane Van Deren was always an athlete, participating in every sport her school offered, which led to a few years as a professional tennis player. Afterward she switched to running marathons. Van Deren suffered from epilepsy, undergoing grand mal seizures for years. Then in 1997, she made the decision to undergo brain surgery to relieve the symptoms. There was a risk of brain damage, but Van Deren weighed that risk against the risk of further brain damage or dying during one of her violent seizures, which had worsened over the years. Surgeons removed a damaged portion of her brain, and the seizures stopped. But there was some damage to her brain from the procedure. Van Deren lost her sense of direction, and her sense of time passing. There is also some memory loss, and a tendency toward sensory overload. In 2002, she began running ultra-marathons, races of 50 miles or more. Van Deren excelled in the longer races, which may be a result of her surgery. She is not aware of the length of time she is running, and may be less aware of pain than she would be otherwise. Now 52 years old, Van Deren finished the 1,000-mile Mountain to Sea Trail in North Carolina on Saturday, June 2, 2012. Her 22-day run set a record for the course, which had never been accomplished in less than 24 days before. Van Deren says she is now through with 1,000-mile races, but will continue in 50- and 100-mile events.

6. CORNEL HRISCA-MUNN
Cornel Hrisca-Munn was born with a deformed leg and no forearms in Romania in 1991. Placed in one of that country’s famously poor orphanages of the time, he was not expected to survive, and wasn’t even issued a birth certificate. But Hrisca-Munn survived, and was taken to England at the age of seven months for proper medical care. By the time he approached his teen years, he wanted to learn a musical instrument, and figured the drums were the only instruments he could manage. Hrisca-Munn placed second in a national drumming competition when he was only 14 years old! Earlier this year, YouTube videos of his playing made him a viral star. And he is learning to play bass guitar as well. Hrisca-Munn is now a student at Keble College, Oxford, England, studying philosophy and theology.

7. CHEN ZHOU
Chen Zhou of Shandong Province, China, was 12 years old when he lost his legs due to a train accident. He began to make a living at age 16 as a street singer, and he recently toured the country singing to pay for a house he bought for his family (he has a wife and two children). Chen is also a mountain climber. He recently completed his 12th ascent up Mount Taishan, which has stairs to the top -6300 of them! Chen walks on his hands, and sees Mount Taishan as both a personal challenge and an opportunity for publicity. Others see his stunt as an inspiration.

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]]> https://ihaveresolve.com/limitless/feed/ 0 Remembering Jason https://ihaveresolve.com/remembering-jason/ https://ihaveresolve.com/remembering-jason/#respond Mon, 25 Jul 2016 00:23:56 +0000 https://dev1.ihaveresolve.com/?p=969 3 Year Anniversary This past week marked the third anniversary since we lost Jason. We feel the passage of time but also feel that time has stood still. It is hard to put into words what life is like living without our son. Jason brought challenges into our lives that we never thought we would…

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3 Year Anniversary

This past week marked the third anniversary since we lost Jason. We feel the passage of time but also feel that time has stood still. It is hard to put into words what life is like living without our son. Jason brought challenges into our lives that we never thought we would face. Looking after someone who year by year and eventually month over month slowly lost their ability to physically function was painful and exhausting. In saying this though I find it more important to note that those same challenges brought our family closer and stronger. We learned an appreciation for what was important in life.

Jason taught us what it really is to face a challenge. He lived through losing his ability to walk, lift a spoon or even bathe and clothe himself, with grace. Grace is the only word that fits his demeanour. He decided that he “had resolve”. Resolve is one of those words that is easy to say but difficult to live and put into action. Most of us resolve to accomplish a goal; such as an exam, or a sporting event, university or even a selected career. Few of us choose to live a “life” of resolve. Most of us just plain don’t have to think that way.

Jason coped with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy essentially by acting like it didn’t exist. We don’t mean that literally, just that it didn’t define him. He pushed forward.

Looking back on his strength now, we are in awe – at the time it was just life. We did whatever was needed because what other choice did we have? We helped however we could but the tough part was left to Jason. He had to live with losing his physical strength. He did have to make a choice. He chose to live in a way that demonstrated a depth of character that we cherish.

So how does our loss become a focus on inclusion? We could focus on so much connected to his disease. There are many charities that are close to our heart.

We took a look at what was missing from Jason’s life outside of the obvious disease. We wanted to focus on how to help someone cope with the overwhelming challenges that life can dole out. In Jason’s case it was friendship and socialization. Jason truly lacked friendship, in particular once his disease advanced. He stood out more and more as different from his peers and in essence spent most of his time by himself.

Jason once asked us if we would be his friends. He needed me as his mother to take away the pressure of asking him who he sat with in school or what did he do that day and who did he talk to? His answer was usually no one, and he didn’t want to say it. Jason wasn’t bullied, he was excluded. Invitations did not come his way. His shyness also did not help. It is for that pain that we now take on a small piece of his resolve.

As Jason’s family we admire, love and respect everything he brought to us in life. We move forward now in a way that tries to honour his resolve. Our resolve is inclusion – whether it is in a school, sport or anything one strives for in life. Educating other kids to just be a friend is one of the most important lessons we can share. Choosing to stand by someone who doesn’t necessarily have the same skills can be so much more rewarding then “winning” the game. That support and friendship on it’s own becomes the win.

For Jason, we have Resolve.

Jennine

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